The Secret to Happiness

Photo by D. Jonez (Unsplash)

The results are in from the longest, in-depth longitudinal study on human life ever conducted. Since 1938, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has been investigating what makes people “flourish” and is now prepared to draw a conclusion.

Summarizing the study in an article for the Atlantic, the study’s director, Robert Waldinger, and associate director, Marc Schulz, delivered the headline:

“Good relationships lead to health and happiness.”

But, they add, “The trick is that those relationships must be nurtured.” They point out the challenge that the average American spends 11 hours every day on solitary activities such as watching television or listening to the radio.

Solution? Think of those you would enjoy spending more time with—say, a good friend or family member. Are you doing it? According to the Harvard study, “enriching those relationships can in turn nourish our minds and bodies.” They write:

You don’t have to examine scientific findings to recognize that relationships affect you physically. All you have to do is notice the invigoration you feel when you believe that someone has really understood you during a good conversation, or the tension and distress you feel after an argument, or how little sleep you get during a period of romantic strife.

I doubt many would question their findings. It rings true to our own intuition and, probably, experience. What stood out to me as I read of their study was another article I came across earlier in the day. It was titled “Sue Thy Neighbor.” 

In it, Corinne Ramey of the Wall Street Journal reported on how bickering between neighbors has become increasingly prevalent and toxic. Forget fences, hedges and property borders. Now it has devolved into such trivial things as flying dirt, flowerpot placement and stray balls bouncing into a yard.

Unsurprisingly, these relational breakdowns spiked during the pandemic, but now, two years later, the number of cases hasn’t diminished. Jessica Lopez, a program manager for the New York Peace Institute, a nonprofit that helps people resolve conflicts, calls it the “new normal.”

So right when we find out that the secret to happiness is relational health and wholeness, we also find out that we are more relationally unhealthy and un-whole than ever before.

Maybe we should remember that, and the next time we see a neighbor,

… smile.

James Emery White

Sources

Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, “What the Longest Study On Human Happiness Found Is The Key to a Good Life,” The Atlantic, January 19, 2023, read online.

Corinne Ramey, “Sue Thy Neighbor: Homeowner Spats Over Fences, Trees and Additions Get Nastier,” The Wall Street Journal, January 22, 2023, read online.